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I feel i'm missing something important.
Just a sec ago, reading from my archives, i saw:
"Service was wow as usual..."

And i think to myself,(don't complete with, "what a wonderful world.")
Have i lost something over the last 3 years since i've accepted Christ?
A hunger, a desire, a fire, a flame?

God, its just not the same anymore is it.
Now, sometimes it can seem so tiring to go for service, so troublesome to even walk that distance to the interchange, so irritating just to wait for that 1 hour bus ride.

And now, i'm catching less and less of sermons.
Sitting in service and listening to Pastor preach is indeed a blessing.
Compared to standing up in the tunnels with the chatter on the net buzzing in your ear.

So what is it?
Cell group shift, ministry, passion?
I don't think i've lost the fire.
Perhaps just its materialising in a different way.
It used to be just sheer enthusiasm.
Now perhaps its more than that.

Its action, with wisdom.
Not just words alone.

I've come to realise again, the growth i've been through the last three years.
"Ministry shapes your life," someone used to say.
I couldn't agree more.

Ministry gives you purpose.
But i'm realising, perhaps this is not my ministry.
Well, i guess it's back to square one: prayer.

I'd just wish some things would stay the same.